The Greatest Artist Of Our Generation (Is F@*$%*# Bonkers)

I usually reserve my online writing to rants about gaming, pop culture, or comic books. On rare occasion these three can intersect in delightful ways; like that time we discovered the evangelical publication designed to warn the faithful about the evils of D&D. Usually when that happens I gush about it like someone’s confused yet delighted father who just learned how to use the dog-face filter.

Other times these three circles of geekdom overlap in stranger, less predictable ways that horrify and confuse. This is one of those times. Continue reading


How 90’s Movies Solved The “Black Superhero Problem”…And Promptly Forgot

As the above picture might indicate there is a very real trend in recent superhero movies. Black superheroes are support, while classic white superheroes are the main protagonists. Just as their source material intended.

Sidekicks? Sure, let Anthony Mackie don wings and goofy-ass goggles. Advisors? Certainly. Tony Stark always needs wise friends to ignore. But heroes, as in the center-stage variety, are nary to be seen (until we finally get that Black Panther movie that’s long overdue.)

Cracked readers noticed this unbalance too. has articles from 2016 about black second-fiddle heroes. Readers on the IGN boards were pointing this out back in 2012. And any moment now Reddit will have threads popping up, retroactively claiming that they had arrived at this very unfairness independently, long before the first electrons were being passed around on the internet.

Google Images / Clipart


But what if I told you there was a glorious place where black, center-stage superheroes walked the land like golden gods? What if I told you we’d already solved this multi-racial-cape disparity? What if I told you there was a place where well-spoken white people became their sidekicks instead? That place was 1990’s cinema. Continue reading

Batman Has Rabies


Batman has always been the billionaire crime-fighter we know and love, as long as you discount the time he was turned into a walking rainbow, or a tree-man, or a toddler, or a block of Batman ice, or an actual bat, or chain-gang prisoner, or when he had bat nipples, or the time…


— Google Images

You know what, fuck it.

I was going to say that Batman has always been his cool, crime-fighting self, but that just isn’t true. Nevertheless, Batman is (usually) an awesome detective-turned-ninja-playboy with near limitless resources and a blatant neglect for who his company hires (see; every villain hired by Wayne Corp. Hint: It’s all of them)

But I got to wondering, with as much time as he spends in the Batcave (insert masturbation joke here) how often does he contract rabies? Continue reading

Lucius Fox Dissaproves


During a recent podcast called How the NSA Works by Stuff You Should know, Chuck and Josh touched on a little program called Dropoutjeep, a program which effectively allows the NSA to access and infiltrate iPhones and activate any and all apps or software installed on your android device. With 100% success rate. In the Forbes article linked above, it was posited by security researcher Applebaum that this was accomplished with the aid of Apple, by leaving backdoors and exploits in the android software before launch.

Here’s a flowchart. Continue reading