The Big Sexy Scratchbuild Kitbash Double Feature (Weapon Master & Ice Golems)

Today we’re getting back to the roots of this blog. Dungeons and Dragons. Specifically the gluey, messy, break-the-bank and bash-the-kit kind of Dungeons and Dragons. First up: The Ice Golem Army. This requires acrylic fish rocks, superglue, lightweight insulation foam, and some acrylic paint. Continue reading

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The Fast And The Furious Franchise Is About A Car God’s Ascension

For years I’ve been using a mashup image of car spoilers to indicate when an article itself contains plot spoilers.┬áHaha. Very humorous. Wordplay is fun. But for this post I mean it. Really.

This post contains plot spoilers!

Both types of spoilers will be present in this article. So if you don’t like having an entire franchise spoiled for you, or if the notion of Road-Bros getting totally sick traction on the concrete upsets you, turn back now.

Or just, you know, leave anyway so you can live a meaningful life without dumb fan theories wasting your time…

No? Okay. Let’s do this thing!

Continue reading

Why I Stopped Writing For A Year (And A Prank About CPR Dummies)

Over the last few months I’ve been getting updates from wordpress showing an uptick in traffic on this blog. More followers. More hits. More links. More likes. Which is seriously weird since I’ve been gone for almost a year–during which this blog should have tanked harder than the Third Reich. Strange, no?

By the way I’m going to be pretty explicit in this post, so if four-letter words offend your sensibilities go back to reading Family Circus.

Oh, I’ve also been pranking my co-workers by using our networked terminals to look up copious amounts of CPR dummies on Amazon so they get targeted ads for open-mouthed monstrosities. But I’ll get to that later.

Anyway, I took a year away from writing online. The reason was twofold… Continue reading

Skyrim Body Saw

Hello reader. I apologize for those of you who check back every week, only to find that I haven’t put up any new fan theories or strange stories over the past few weeks. I’ve been working hard on some new content and ideas for a new website format devoted to plot deconstruction in movies and games.

Oh, and this… I’ve also been wasting a lot of time on this…

Check back for updates on the new website. We’ll announce it here when we launch.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves – Robin & The Sheriff Were Both Imposters (Fan Theory)

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves came out during a very influential time in my life. I was young enough for the neighbors to laugh at my yarn-and-sapling bow making skills, yet old enough to get in trouble for threatening to cut out their hearts with a spoon.

Less intimidating when it’s a 7-year-old.

So it’s no surprise that I was a bit too immature to grasp the deeper story behind a movie like this. As a child I was so wrapped up in the sword fighting, the bow shooting, and the Morgan Freeman-ing, that I missed the important lessons hiding just under the skin. Lessons like how to choose your allies. Why safety nets for the lower classes are important. And why constructing an Ewok village is never a solution.

No matter how long you stare, tiny dancing bears will never appear.

Re-watch this movie as an adult, however, with a fair working knowledge of class systems and medieval politics, and another story emerges. The classic “Steal from the rich and give to the poor.” goes out the window. You start to realize that Prince of Thieves is more of a “Drive a political campaign that legitimizes your status as a pretender by using the suffering poor.” kind of jam.

Don’t believe me? Here are a few reasons why the Sheriff and Robin are both imposters trying to fill a power vacuum by exploiting the peasantry. Continue reading