In the past I’ve written about mixing fake cat vomit, leaving incriminating liquor bottles around the house, and bringing horror-food to life, all in the name of mankind’s oldest pastime– pranking. I was content to rest on my laurels for a time, chuckling whenever I recalled the look on my roomate’s face, seeing a gallon of cat vomit on the front steps with his precious “Pumpkin” looking innocent as ever and decidedly not dead. But it wasn’t enough. I grew bored. The laughter faded. I needed to plan my next big score. And I looked to dirty swimming pools for my muse.
What’s the worst thing you can discover floating in a pool, like a buoy drifted out of the 9th circle of hell to stalk you through the eye-searing waters? Urine? Feces? Dead insects?
Say it with me: Used Band-Aids.
So I set about crafting slightly congealed bloody remnants, made from red food dye and a pinch of store-bought gelatin. I started small. Innocent. On the first day it was a single band-aid, left near the bathroom trash, carelessly flung in the corner like a poorly shot free-throw. The second day it was two band-aids, folded neatly and left on the kitchen counter. Day three, it was three dirty little wound-leavings, dropped in the hallway. And so on…and so on.
At first none of my three roomates (or house guests) seemed to take offense. The band-aids sometimes went missing, tossed out by a good samaritan. Sometimes they lingered for days, gathering dust, yet remaining conspicuously bright red and cheery. Just look at this little champ, clinging to the inside lid of the garbage.
I was mad with power. Every angry cry or shriek only fueled my passion. I wasn’t home to enjoy the final burst of rage and confusion, but my absence only added to the mystery. So how did I know when they were ready for the big reveal? I had a plant.
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