90% Americans Are “Going Through The Motions” Until Next Game Of Thrones Episode


A new study published in Ethical Psychology Annual shows that most, if not all Americans, are maintaining steady jobs and personal relationships as a coping mechanism between new episodes of HBO’s hit series, Game Of Thrones. Activities like positive social interaction, meaningful communication, and problem solving are on the decline, as avid watchers of the series are more likely to spark long-lasting feuds between neighbors and co-workers to fill the dull hours.

“We’ve faced countless challenges in verifying our data.” One researcher claimed in the article. “We discovered that members of our staff would be fighting in two, three…sometimes as many as four House Wars or battles of succession during their off-hours. This kind of behavior is not conducive to accurate polling.”



Incidences of localized crime, looting, and pillaging are projected to decrease significantly in the next few weeks. But these dips may be strictly limited to the hour of each new episode’s airing. Victims of raids by hostile houses or traitorous bannermen after the episode’s credits are being told to remain indoors and pray to the Lord of Light.

Similarly, a poll taken by the Minneapolis Center for Global Resource Marketing shows prices for valyrian steel has tripled in the last month alone, and sabers have replaced both puppies and cute dolls as top gifts at children’s birthday parties. More on this later.


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