The world is in mourning today as Donald J. Trump passes, leaving a grieving widow and five loving children behind. At an estimated net worth of 3.2 Billion, citizens are left wondering what the hell Trump actually did for a living, aside from starring on his own reality TV show and being really, really rich.
Trump’s Hair, however, has gone public with the declaration that it will be seeking a new host-body. As it is considered a parasite, the red-blonde mop of wavy mind-strands will not be awarded any of Trump’s estate. However, the parasite claims it that it has retained all of the intellectual capacity of the multi-billionare, and could be a significant boon to anyone who bonds with it.
Trump’s hair of course was the inspiration for the race known as the “Trill” on the science-fiction show Star Trek. Writers of The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine chose to portray the memory-storing aliens as brain-bug crabs, stating that; “Crabs that curl around someone’s spinal column are more believable.” And; “Trump’s hair is too damn creepy. Our [viewers] expect strange, but not that strange…”