Bloated media powerhouse Disney has purchased yet another popular franchise; Game of Thrones. At 3.8B cash and stock, the warriors of Westeros didn’t come cheap. But Disney anticipates a recoup from its costs after the summer release of the first Game of Thrones movie: Valar Morghulis.
“It’s going to be an adventure in it’s own right.” One of the creative writers for Disney disclosed. “Valar Morghulis will give us a better insight into the Jaqen H’ghar and Syrio Forel characters. Like where they came from, and what makes them tick.”
The next big buy for Disney has been a subject of speculation for some months now, after the purchase of LucasArts and subsequent cancellation of the company’s future projects. The only move that would make sense from here would be to retire the current Game of Thrones characters and re-cast the entire show with cartoon Disney characters, with Mickey Mouse as Jaime Lannister, and Goofy as Jorah Mormont.
(Final Note: This article is completely fictitious, fabricated, and wrong in so many ways…)